Nurturance. Ever heard of it?


Amanda is seen holding a red-tailed hawk and admiring it. She wears a pale blue polo shirt with the logo for the Summer Day Camp for Le Cercle des Canadiens Francophones et Francophiles de Prince George. It is a fleur-de-lis super-imposed on a Canadian maple leaf.

Hello, My name is Amanda Ramsay and I want to introduce myself to you finally. 

FolkWoman is my personal content or "blog" that will feature things that I am working on.

Rabble Rouser is a digital publication that will go to print in February and is going to be a cooperative publication owned by the community in 5 years. Right up until then I will be working on curating content with local collaborators and getting them ready to participate in the print edition and mentoring them through creating their own online platform(s).
I am an INTJ-A Personality. Despite my successful background in sales & marketing management, I am extremely introverted about things that matter to me and this website that I am building here, it truly matters to me. 
Description of the INTJ personality type according to 16personalities.com
I am comfortable telling you things about myself that some might find "personal," or private because I know that my stories serve a purpose, and I have a lot of stories. 
Some of my stories are mine. Some stories aren't just my own. About 5% are on loan to me. 
You will never hear my whole truth, that's mine to keep and hold. 
But I'm ready to start sharing some. I'm ready to share my stories of hope, my writing, and the launch of Rabble Rouser, a community magazine I think we need. 

I am committed to making real social change in my communities and networks because my daughter must grow up in whatever world I tolerate or actively create.

If I tolerate sexist remarks when I go to dinner at someone's home, I teach my daughter that sexist remarks are tolerable. Thus, I do believe in "calling out" bad behaviour, but not the person.I believe that people are inherently good.
Teaching skills to fight sexism works, and instead of merely being "intolerant" of sexism, you become an active creator in the world you want to build. Instead of dis-empowering someone, you empower them with tools they need and often desire.
Unfortunately, it's scary and uncomfortable pointing out people's bad behaviour. People tend to feel immense shame, despite the fact that we only learn the tools we grew up with, were exposed to, or learned from someone we trusted. Thus shame will manifest in more non-sympathetic behaviours like denial, shouting and even violence.
I don't hold it against anyone, except maybe myself. 
There is a major gap in this world right now. In this country, this region and yes, in this very city. 
It's called Empathy. 
Compassion. 
Humanity. 
We need more of all of these, and it's not "bleeding heart" to say so. Even corporate strategists are attempting to create better inter-personal conditions and balance social culture with profitability. 
I've been working my whole life to find the solution, the right denim patch to stitch over this gargantuan rift in our social fabric, but I need your help. 
Quote from the article: "I find that empathy is always the safest and healthiest choice but not everyone knows how to value empathy. Not everyone knows how to prioritize empathy when they communicate, do business or even parent." Amanda Ramsay
Empathy, compassion and humanity is learn-able but sometimes individuals rely on not-empathetic people to teach them empathy. If the Individual is a child, then they don't know any better. If a person already lacks empathy then they can grow to undervalue the role it plays in not only social harmony but even in basic business efficiency.
When people lack something, you have to teach them. If we aren't teaching good habits, we are enabling the proliferation of bad habits.
Unfortunately, it shouldn't be up to the victims of a system to inform or educate the bullies that run the system. For example, there is a lot of healing to be done due to the constant cultural warfare on our Indigenous peoples which is Still rooted in racist policies and laws. But the onus should never be on them to say "Hey, stop hurting us."
When we, as a society, grew into the conception and adoption of Human Rights, we have forgotten the other side of our Rights: Our Responsibility.
We have a responsibility, not only to uphold our own rights but the rights of others. Even though Children in Canada do have rights, legislation called the Child Protection Act, so that if an adult knew a child was in danger, they HAD to do something about it.
Doesn't that seem backward?
I grew up Catholic. I am atheist now. (Long story, but I'm not bitter) I believe religion might be effective for some people, but I don't think religion holds the monopoly on how to teach empathy. Religions, Money and Power are the primary reasons people break with empathetic responses, and sometimes they are legitimate breaks to keep ourselves safe. 
For example, if you apologize at the scene of an automobile accident, you can be legally held liable as feeling "guilty" rather than "remorseful" and can be found half at fault even if you were originally 100% not at fault. It's rare, but there is legal precedent. Thus, it is legally advisable (especially if you don't have a lot of money to begin with) to never admit guilt or say sorry. They ask surgeons and doctors to do the same thing when dealing with the loss of a patient and the unfortunate task of informing the family. 
Regardless, I find that empathy is always the safest and healthiest choice but not everyone knows how to value empathy. Not everyone knows how to prioritize empathy when they communicate, do business or even parent.
Like I said, it seems like if you put empathy first, your life or job could be put at risk. Worse, your ability to provide for your family or children too, could be at risk.

But they don't have to be. There are alternatives to protecting yourself from Litigation. It's called "good faith," and you don't have to be religious to earn the term. You must ensure that you are always communicating openly with no hidden agendas. It's more complicated than that though...
For example, if someone waved you through a stop sign and then gassed up and hit you with their car because of confusion, all you'd want to know is: "what kind of help can I get now that I'm off work, because I'm laid up in a cast or" whatever else might happen. Right? Most people's first responses are: how am I going to live with this?
Showing empathy in the first place is one of the primary indicators of whether or not a negative experience will be handled well by those involved. But how do we show empathy? How do we even put empathy in the front of our mind if we are incapable or trained out of it in the first place?
There are tools we can learn.

Tim Allen accidentally allows a belt sander to run away with him but he catches it by the cord as it drives itself the edge closest to the camera. Al his trusty shop help watches on interested.
One rule of thumb is this: apologies are always a great first step.
The second is this: don't be scared to show how you feel as you communicate. People want to see you authentically, not as a robot.
I have been through various corporate training and intake routines, heck I've even written, organized and edited Corporate Manuals for big companies because I like transferring knowledge. I know a lot about "skills acquisition" and I want to start sharing with folks how they can learn some underrated skills that will improve not just their social life, but all kinds of fields in their life. In business, empathy can help with customer service, communications, human resources and it's integral to effective marketing & advertising.
So what's the first tool we have to learn?
It's called Nurturance. 


It's a tool with all the coolest bells & whistles. Best part yet, it won't take up any room in your garage, shop, home-office, studio, she-shed or man-cave.
For now, just know that I am preparing to share more. I'm a bit of a hermit. 
Please take a look around the website and send me questions or comments if you have them. 
Thanks for coming by. 
Amanda Ramsay
FolkWoman

Signature Block image, "Your Publisher, Amanda Ramsay" Logos for FolkWoman, Rabble Rouser & Folk Living.

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